1. If you do it missionary-style, you will see the end of your galaxy in their eyes. If you do it doggy-style, their tramp stamp spells out the names of your unborn children--and the dates of their deaths.
2. Often infect you with terrifying future viruses . . . or bubonic plague.
3. Treat one badly and you end up as a grotesque caricature in the Iliad.
4. You can never compare to the sexual skills of future humans, who can pleasure their partners telepathically. Also they have BIG dicks. Just huge. Go on forever. Almost prehensile. They can open a can of soda with their dicks and get a girl pregnant at the same time. You can't compete. They're also dwarves from carrying around all that unmanageable weight. So, joke's on them, really.
5. The pain you feel when semen re-enters your urethra is indescribable.
6. They may slip up and call you "President Arthur" while you climax.
7. Sire a child with one and you will have already met them for five minutes in a nursing home when you were 12.
8. Sometimes forget that 21st Century humans don't have a back-up rectum, unlike our forbears (fun fact about Neanderthal Man!).
9. Threesomes will give you the distinct impression there's only one.
10. HAVE YOU EVER MET A TIME PIMP?
Thanks to The Gooch for his contributions to this list!-Joe
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I think grover cleveland would have been a better president. "Ma, Ma, where's my Pa!"
ReplyDelete