My Favorite Reality Show Catchphrases

1. “I’m doing this for my eight stepsons.”
-Randy, Big Brother: Lunar Edition

2. “Sob, sob, sob, gargle—“
-Dr. Cal, Who Wants to Stab a Doctor?

3. “For every date I don’t get, somebody loses a toe.”
-Lindsay B., Marry Michael McDonald

4. “Let’s crank this shit up to Mahler, bitch!”
-Dino, Flava Flav’s Next Top Concert Cellist

5. "We're all cannibals now."
-Ned 'Eat the Soup' Coates, Survivor: Gobi

6. "Scream! Scream! Scream!"
-Vicky Hollister, Top Chef: Vegan

7. “BORK OUT.”
-Robert Bork, Court of Love

8. "Too many tentacle!"
-SN Narayan, HP's Love Craft

9. “I’m a sex addict. And an alcoholic. Help me.”
-Marty, Boner Island

10. "Blood of the Lamb in the houuuuuuuuuuuse!”
-Greg, America’s Next Top Preacher

11. “One step away from a million bucks and you won’t fuck a goat? Get out the way.”
-Joe Rogan, Fear Factor HBO

*Big ups to my home-slice Remi Treuer for contributing to this list.